So, for the last evening, the kids in Russia do a “show.” They all come up with stuff and perform, like they have been all through camp, but this is The Great Finale. Technically, Kevin and I were supposed to do something, but his suggestions were, and I AM NOT LYING, that we get up on stage and sing “God Bless America,” “I’m Proud to Be an American,” recite the pledge of allegiance, or some such bullshit. I had forgotten about this and was reminded of it at work when someone started talking about karaoke and a microphone. I cannot believe I forgot it. Once again…MORTIFIED. I am not not proud to be an American, but I would never in a thousand years go to another country, sing a patriotic song as a thank you for letting me teach, and expect you to applaud my performance. He had no idea about the inappropriateness of his suggestions. I wondered if he had read the news in the last, oh say, year, and knew anything about the relations between the US and Russia. I cannot imagine traveling in other countries, just expecting that people were happy to meet me and excited to see an American. At least, not in 2008. Maybe in 1946. I honestly think that he has no concept of foreign perception of who we are, nor does he understand world relations, in general. He probably voted for Bush (sorry if any of you did, I’m not trying to offend, I’m trying to make a point about how we perceive “others”). I basically told him that I would never in a thousand years get up on a stage in Russia and sing our anthem or anything else even remotely Americana-esque. A few days later he made the point to state that at least HE was up for anything and would do anything for the last performance.
Conclusion: we did not perform.
Oh. My. Gawd.
And by “Gawd”, I’m envoking the godless communists of the 1950’s. McCarthy’ism Rocks! Oh wait…
strike that…I really wish, at this point, that he would have performed. Because maybe Puti would have shown up, like a super hero, and kicked his ass.
You know, I really want to see a cage match between Putin and Bush. You can guess where my money is.
I digress…Yes, The Syracusian. Frack’n Ass.
Oh, just wait till I make my post about “The Amurkin Makin’ Cell Phone Call’s In Russia (on our cell phone).”
Won’t be as one-on-one as The Sally. But, well…it might end up being the one-on-one with The Lumpy.
You’re not making this up, are you?
I mean, really??? (You’re missing a really contorted face here…my brow hurts.)
You could have just sung “I like big butts and I cannot lie.” That’s the international peace keeping anthem. Really, they sing it every day at the UN.