Toots and Sally Ride Again

Sometimes feelings build up inside and they come out in an explosive manner. That is okay because we are all human and we have the right to feel and express ourselves.  A few weeks ago I went to a training/conference in Orlando.  As most of you know, I work at a domestic violence and sexual assault center.  We received a grant to include more extensive prevention work as part of our services, and this training provided some feedback on how to go about this prevention business.  One of the main things that the facilitators focused on (one female and one male) was the inclusion of men in our work.  There was much discussion on this topic.  How could men possibly understand what women go through?  The truth of the matter is that men don’t understand because they will never experience life as a woman.  And that’s okay.  The important thing is that if we accept good men as our allies, we can accomplish so much more.  Men may not understand what it is like to be a woman, but they can understand the concept of respect, unity, and equality.  Men can teach other men-and boys-how to treat women, just human beings in general, with respect.  There are many kinds of feminists and each one contributes to the movement in her own way.   While men might not be as vocal in the movement and while many may not quite understand the impact of their male privilege, many do their part by teaching their sons to be good human beings.  They encourage their education, travel, engaged them in stimulating conversation about the world and do such basic things with their sons such as spending a Saturday afternoon together.  These basic actions are helping women by creating caring, respectful men for our future.  Women have a right to be angry, no doubt about that.  We have been oppressed since the first caveman dragged the first cavewoman across the ground by the hair.  As someone who has been victimized, I am angry too, and I have chosen a path in my life to help women.  We can teach women self-defense.  We can teach them how to be careful when they walk in a parking lot.  We can remind them to lock their windows and doors when they are home.  But why?  What is the point because nobody is teaching men not to rape.  Nobody is teaching them not to hit.  We need to work together.

Sometimes things that don’t mean a thing to one person mean the world to another.  Let’s not forget why we are here.  Despite our differences, we are a family and if we can’t get past this hurdle, then we are not the strong group of people I thought we were.  We are not only letting ourselves down, but also the many youth who are looking up to us.

“Be the change you want to see in the world.”  Mahatma Ghandi

“Whenever you are confronted with an opponent, conquer him with love.”  Mahatma Ghandi

“The weak can never forgive.  Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”  Mahatma Ghandi